Consent

Consent is when a person gives or receives permission to do something. Consent involves open communication and trust between individuals and is important in all areas of life. During sexual activity, consent is always necessary. Under Canadian law, consent can never be presumed, no matter how someone is acting, or if they've had sex with us before, so we need to take steps to make sure that our partner is into it. We need to pay attention to the things they say, but also their nonverbal cues like body language and facial expressions-they should be communicating a clear 'yes'. Basically, anytime we want to have sex with someone, we need to get their consent. Anytime someone wants to have sex with us, we need to agree. Consent should happen before engaging in sex, and also involves checking in throughout to make sure everyone is still on board. For example, if you are consenting to kissing someone that does not mean you are consenting to having sex with them. It also means you can change your mind at any point. It is really important that everyone involved is on the same page and knows what each person is comfortable doing. Everyone has the right to decide the type of sex they want to have or not have.  

For more information, check out:

Yes Means Yes: Sexual Consent 
Check in First: How to Talk About Sexual Consent  
What Do I Need to Know About Age of Consent
Navigating Consent
Consent and Sexual Assault

Consent plays a big role in all types of sexual activity. When consent is violated, it is a form of sexual assault. More broadly, sexual assault is any unwanted sexual act. Some people also call it rape. Sexual assault can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, age, sexual orientation or gender identity. If you are sexually assaulted, it is never your fault. There is nothing that you can do or wear or say that justifies sexual assault. Again, it is never your fault and you deserve to be believed and supported. People are most often assaulted by someone they know, which can make it harder to deal with or report to authorities. If you have been sexually assaulted, there are different resources you can turn to, and you might want to talk to a parent or adult you trust. 

For more resources, check out:  

Anti-Violence Centres
What is Sexual Assault?

For more information about sexual assault, check out: Sexual Assault

Alcohol and Drugs  

Drinking alcohol and doing drugs can alter your ability to make decisions, and affect your sexual desires. Something you wouldn’t normally want to do, or something you would be careful about, might not seem as serious when you are intoxicated. You might take more risks that could affect your overall health and well-being. For this reason, if you do choose to consume drugs or alcohol, it can be really helpful and important to plan ahead so that you can stay safer. Check out this resource for different ways to make safer choices. If you need to access services or get help, remember that you should not be judged for substance use. It is important to be honest with healthcare providers in order to get the services and resources you need. 

When you are intoxicated, it can also affect your ability to give consent. Legally, you cannot consent if you are drunk or high. If you or your sexual partner have consumed too much alcohol or drugs, it is probably best to wait for another time to have sex.